


Don't Throw Your Life Away (Nick Clark x Reader)

by Kaylercool



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Death, Don't Throw Your Life Away, Drugs, F/M, FTWD, Hope, Nick Clark x Reader, Nick Clark x You, Nick Clark/Reader - Freeform, Reader Insert, Wanting to give up, fear the walking dead, twd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 15:21:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13033971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaylercool/pseuds/Kaylercool
Summary: "Was everything you said that day just crap? Do you not get how hard it is to watch someone you love throw their life away?”I'm not good at summaries. That's the only summary you need though.This story is spoiler free asides from a small comment about Nick's dad, but I don't consider that a spoiler.I decided to give the adorable Nick Clark some love since there aren't that many fanfics of him out there. <3





	Don't Throw Your Life Away (Nick Clark x Reader)

I forcefully pushed myself backwards until I felt my back bump against the tree behind me. My body was in pain, but I hardly noticed because my mind was racing. I had managed to get away from the horrific scene, but the images were burned into my mind. No matter how hard I tried to block it out and focus more on the physical pain, the images just kept playing through my head like a slideshow. I felt lightheaded as I gazed down at my mangled leg. There was blood everywhere, but that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was I had no idea if it was mine or not. I attempted to move my right leg, quickly realizing that it was more than just scuffed. It was broken. I bit my lip and crossed my arms as I looked up at the trees surrounding me. I took a deep breath, accepting that I would be dead in due time.

 

“Hey.” I heard a low whisper emanate from what sounded like a young male before me. I snapped out of my daze and caught eyes with the boy. He was covered in dark blood from head to toe. Even his hair seemed to be slicked back with the dark liquid. He had a curious, yet concerned expression plastered on his face. At this point, I had accepted my fate, so I did not attempt to protect myself. I stayed perfectly still. Things could not possibly get any worse than they already were.

 

“I don’t have anything for you to take,” I simply stated, looking down at the ground.

 

The boy’s eyes wandered down over my figure, noticing the condition of my leg.

 

“What happened to you?” he slowly lowered himself onto his knees to get a better look at me, completely ignoring my previous statement. My eyes darted back up for a split second, then met the ground again. I just wanted him to leave me alone.

 

“What does it matter? Just leave me alone, please,” I pleaded as I felt the tears threaten to fall from my eyes. I heard the boy sigh. I lifted my head to look at him. He had a serious expression.

 

“Whether you want me to or not, I am going to get you help. I am not just going to let you die,” he stated. At this point my vision began to blur. I was not even given the opportunity to refuse the boy’s words. Before long, things faded to black.

I woke up in small, somewhat dirty bed that was accompanied by curtains that made it impossible for me to see what else was around me. I could hear the faint coughs of others and idle chatter on the other side of the curtains. The curtains shifted and revealed a clean, blood free version of the boy from earlier. The memories began to flood back, causing me to bite my lip and fight back tears. The boy pulled up a chair next to the bed.

 

“The doctor said your leg will be fine,” he stated just before locking eyes with me.

“But, we all kind of need to know what went down before I brought you here. I hate to ask right now, but-”

 

“I lost every reason I had to be alive,” The boy before me seemed upset by what I said. I took a deep breath and attempted to keep my composure as I continued on, “My family was killed by some bad people. They left me in this state instead of just killing me,” I managed to get out just before several of the tears I had been previously holding back began to gush out.

 

“I was ready to d-die and you just rui-ined-“ I stopped mid-sentence when I felt him place his hand gently over mine. Regardless of how hurt, embarrassed, and enraged as I was all at once, I just stared back at him, awaiting his words.

 

“No matter how alone you think you are, you are not. You never will be. You may think you have lost everyone that will ever care about you, but you’re wrong,” he wrapped his hand around mine softly, “I know your family would have wanted you to keep living. You are still alive, which is something to be thankful for in a world like this. You can still help people and work towards a better life for yourself and others. Don’t throw your life away.”

 

My eyes fluttered open as the sunshine hit my face. I smiled slightly at the memory that I had relived through my dreams. The day over two years ago when the boy by the name of Nick Clark gave me hope. The day he gave me the inspiration to keep on living. Also, the day that I fell in love for the first time. Whenever he would shoot me that smile of his I’d forget that the undead had taken over the world; for a moment at least.

I slipped out of bed and threw on some clothes. Today was me and Nick’s turn to go out on a supply run. Madison had prepared us a list of things to look for the night before. I grabbed the list and shoved it into my pocket as I walked towards Nick’s room.

 

Without even thinking, I opened Nick’s door. I heard fumbling and as I stepped into the room a bottle of pills rolled up to my feet. The realization of what was happening slapped me in the face. Nick had been clean for over a year now. When I met him, he was still struggling with his addiction, but with time it seemed as if he had beaten his addiction. Had he really? Or was he just now crawling back to drugs? I swallowed hard, clenching my fists. He locked eyes with me for a second, then immediately ripped them away and stared at the bottle in front of my feet.

 

“I can’t believe you were doing this behind my back,” I muttered angrily between my teeth. We all supported him through his journey to becoming clean. I was so proud of him. Madison was so proud of him. Nick remained silent.

“Were you ever clean, Nick?” I muttered softly, disappointment replacing the anger that was previously in my tone.

 

“Yeah, but I kind of started back a couple of weeks ago,” he stated, clearly trying to hide his true emotions. I lost my composure.  

 

“I know you worked hard to get clean and you just tossed all that work out the window for no reason!” I roughly wiped my tears before continuing, taking a deep breath before giving him a piece of my mind.

 

“What if you can’t get your hands on any more drugs, huh? Do you not realize that we’re in the middle of an apocalypse and you can’t just go get drugs whenever anymore? You’re killing yourself, Nick! You can’t just be reckless like this anymore. We all care about you! I care about _you_! Don’t throw your life away. Isn’t that what you told me? Practice what you preach, you idiot!” At this point I was practically screaming at him. I had never really been so forceful towards him before, but I really wanted to convey what I was feeling. I wanted to drill some sense into his head. I wanted him to understand that there were consequences to his actions. He was stubborn, so a simple conversation just did not seem like enough. I got so absorbed into spilling out my inner thoughts that I let something extra spill. Something I never planned on letting loose.

 

“Was everything you said that day just crap? Do you not get how hard it is to watch someone you love throw their life away?” He looked back up at me with hurt in his eyes. I averted my eyes, just now realizing what I had said.

 

He muttered something under his breath. I was unsure of what he said. I heard him sit down on his creaky, old bed. I sighed internally and just walked away. I stepped outside and quickly headed towards the rusty, old truck that we managed to snag a while back. Madison was propped up against the truck, probably waiting to see us off and remind us of what we were to look for during the run. As I approached her she looked a bit concerned.

 

“Where’s Nick? He’s supposed to go with you today,” she said, now standing up straight.

 

“He’s not feeling so well, so I said I’d go on my own,” I lied, not able to hide the frustration and grief that I still harbored. Madison didn’t buy it.

 

“____, I know better. He wouldn’t just let you go on your own. That boy’s too stubborn for that.” I crossed my arms, a bit annoyed. I just wanted to go, get back, and be left alone. I forced a laugh.

 

“Stubborn, he is, but, so am I,” I stated as I pushed my hair out of my face. “It’s fine. I’m completely capable of managing on my own. In fact, I’ll probably get everything on the list quicker without having to look after him.” I pulled the list out of my pocket, showing that I still had it and was ready. I smiled slightly. Madison shot me a small smile and began to walk off. I’m not sure she fully believed me, but it didn’t really matter.

 

Once Madison was gone, I finally dropped the façade I put up. I sighed, hopping into the truck and starting it. As I drove, my mind raced back and forth. I felt bad about lashing out at Nick, even though he did deserve at least some of it.

 

I kept driving for a little while until I came across an old looking home. I pulled over and headed towards the door. I slowly walked up the steps, immediately tugging at the doorknob as soon as I reached the top. No luck. I instinctively checked under the mat for a key. Luckily, the key was indeed there. I wasted no time before shoving it into the keyhole and barging inside. It probably wasn’t a good idea for me to be so sudden, but I was ready to get stuff done. The house looked like it hadn’t been touched in a while, so everything seemed just fine. I dug through the cabinets, drawers, and everywhere else things on my list might have been hidden. Lucky for me, I had scooped up a majority of what we needed. It would have been a successful trip if I had just come back with half of the things we needed, but I was proud that I had found so much just in one place.

 

I was planning on heading back, but then I realized there was one place I hadn’t checked yet. The basement. Basements were usually jackpots. How could I leave it unchecked? I opened the door with ease, immediately turning on the dim light. I carefully began walking down the creaky steps, but obviously I wasn’t careful enough. My foot went straight through one of the steps, getting my leg caught in the process. I winced at the pain and began to breathe heavily.

 

Suddenly, I heard growling. The growling was unmistakable. Only the undead sounded like that. Two walkers began climbing up the steps, eager to tear me apart. My immediate thought was to attempt to free myself from the steps, but then everything that had happened earlier flashed through my head. The person I cared about most was fed up with me. I should have never lashed out at him like that. The way I reacted was uncalled for. I meant the things I said, but I didn’t mean to be so hateful about it. I only said those things because I truly care about his well-being. I closed my eyes, preparing for the inevitable.

 

The inevitable never came though. Instead, the sound of gunshots filled my ears, followed by the sound of something tumbling. I opened my eyes and looked behind me. Nick. I remained silent as the boy helped me get my leg loose and supported me as I wobbled back up the stairs, back into the main room of the house. He sat me down on the couch, then sat beside me, his eyes glued on me. I was still a little shocked, so I just sat there silently.

 

“Why were you just frozen like that, ___?” He looked me over.

 

“Are you okay?” The concern in his voice was evident, but I was too afraid to look him in the eyes. I was afraid he’d see the shame I felt. The regret. The pain. I wanted to apologize, but I just couldn’t find the right words. I needed time to think.

 

“I’m fine,” I murmured softly, just loud enough for him to hear. Nick placed his hand over mine, causing me to look up at him. Once my eyes met his, it was as if they were caught in a web. They couldn’t break free, even if they wanted to. Nick’s expression was sad, yet also concerned. It seemed to be filled with nervousness as well.

 

“I don’t know if you heard me before, but, yeah, I do,” he spoke softly, but still loud enough to hear. I looked at him with confusion, waiting for him to continue.

 

“I know how hard it is to watch someone you love throw their life away. It hurts like hell. It sucks,” He grabbed onto my hand and slightly tightened his grip. My heart skipped a beat. I took a deep breath before I finally began to speak.

 

“I’m sorry that I was so rude to you today. It’s just that I care and I-“ Nick cut me off.

 

“You don’t have to apologize to me,___. It was my fault.” He paused for a moment. “I should have come to you, or even my mom when I had the urge to turn to drugs again. You were right. I messed up,” he paused for a second, “again,” he sighed, turning his face away and loosening his grip on my hand. I couldn’t take the sad expression plastered on his face. This time, I tightened my hand around his, causing his eyes to be reunited with mine.

 

“It’s okay, Nick. You’ve gotten off drugs before, you can do it again. I can’t imagine how hard it must be, but I promise I’ll support you no matter how long, or hard the road might be.” I shot him a soft, sweet smile. He shot me one back and I thought I was going to melt.

 

“Thank you,” he said, helping me up from my seat. Of course, my balance was still quite a bit off. I flinched at the sudden pain I felt as I stood up. Nick helped me out to the car since I probably wouldn’t be able to walk on my own. He climbed into the driver seat, then seemed to space out for a moment.

 

“Um, Nick?” I questioned, waving my hand in front of his face. He looked in my direction, flashing me what seemed to be a shy smile before returning his attention to the road.

“Sorry,” he said softly, starting up the car.

 

Once we got back, I plopped onto the couch and Nick began helping me fix my leg up. I tensed up a little and bit my lip as he began wrapping my wound. We were both silent and it felt a bit awkward, so I decided to speak up.

 

“Thanks for always being there for me,” I stated. Nick finished wrapping my leg and stood up just before taking a seat next to me. He opened his mouth to speak, but I began to continue,

 

“I know I haven’t always been the strongest, most reliable person. I almost gave up twice, but both times you were there to pick me back up.” Nick stared into my eyes as I spoke. I became a little nervous. I was pouring my heart out again, which wasn’t something I was used to doing, but these things needed to be said. I bit my lip.

 

“You are strong, ___,” he said, pulling me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him, relaxing my head on his shoulder. “You’ve picked me up plenty of times too, just like you did today. In this new world, I think everyone has thought about giving up at least once. What matters is that you didn’t. I’m really glad that you didn’t.” I smiled into the hug. He’s an amazingly sweet person. Living in an apocalypse isn’t easy, but if he’s by my side I know I can make it. He’s been there for me for quite a while now, but I fell for him early on. I’m head over heels in love with this boy.

 

“I’m so in love with you,” I whispered, still in the hug. Then, I realized what I had said. I mentally slapped myself in the face. I just had to blurt everything out today. I had already blurted something similar out earlier, but I didn’t think he interpreted it in that way, so I didn’t think it mattered. There is no way he could misinterpret what I said this time. I had ruined everything.

 

Nick remained still and quiet. I quickly pulled myself away from him, avoiding eye contact at all costs. I attempted to get up and run off, but as soon as I stood up I remembered that I was in no condition to walk, much less run. Nick quickly grabbed onto my wrist, pulling me back onto the couch. I sat facing the other way, hoping to hide my blush. My hands were shaking. Nick was still holding onto my wrist, so I’m sure he noticed. We both remained silent for a moment.

 

“Do you really mean that?” he asked softly. I couldn’t lie to him. It was already out there anyway. He heard it. How could I take something like that back? He let go of my wrist. He seemed to hesitate at first, but then he interlaced his fingers with mine. My heart began to speed up. I almost felt scared to breathe. Despite my embarrassment and nerves, I turned towards him and locked eyes with him. He shot me that adorable, nervous smile of his. I took a deep breath.

 

“I-I love you, Nick Clark,” I stammered, immediately averting my eyes, pulling my hand away from his and digging my nails into the couch.

 

 “I might be ruining everything by saying this, but today I apparently can’t keep my mouth shut. Even in a hellish world like this, you still manage to make me smile. That’s not something just anyone can do. You’re special, Nick. That’s why I freaked out on you today. The thought of losing you to drugs, or anything else for that matter, is the worst possible thing I can imagine. Like you said about your dad, it hurts like hell to watch someone you love throw their life away. I may be s-” I went silent as soon as I felt a hand cup my cheek. I looked straight ahead, noticing that he was leaning in rather close. Our faces were merely inches away and I had never looked so deep into his eyes before. It was like I was in a trance. Normally, I would look away, but I didn’t.

 

I closed my eyes, and within seconds I felt his lips on mine. I kissed him back, throwing my nerves out the window. I didn’t want them to ruin the moment. I felt like I was going to melt as he kissed me. Nick slowly pulled away and I suddenly felt shy again. I bit my lip as I stared back at him.

 

“I was talking about _you_ , not him,” he paused for a second, biting his lip as well.

 

“___, I love the hell out of you and watching you almost die again today was hard. I didn’t let you die then, and I’m sure as hell not going to let you die now that you’re finally mine. Please promise me you wo-” This time, I pulled him into a hug, resting my head on his shoulder once again. He fell silent at my sudden action.

 

“Nick, I don’t want to throw my life away anymore. I promise that I won’t. I see now that throwing my life away means saying goodbye to the love of my life, and that’s not something I’m willing to do,” I paused for a moment before continuing,

 

 “Nick, I need you to promise me something too.”

 

“Anything for you,” he murmured into the hug.

 

“Don’t throw your life away either,” I interlaced my fingers with his, nuzzling my face into his shoulder. I felt him tighten his hand around mine.

 

“I won’t, I promise.”


End file.
